Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?

See this man, who’s very appearance oozes swag? This is Matrim “Mat” Cauthon. Mat’s skills include archery, quarterstaff fighting, battle strategy, and grabbing women’s asses. I know what you’re thinking, what makes him so swaggy?
He married the Empress, may she live forever, of the powerful Seanchan Empire, by accident.
He rescued Moiraine from the Aelfinn and Eelfinn.
His eye was ripped out and he screamed for only one minute before beating some asses.
He has the memories of many generals and commanders of old.
His spear is a power wrought spear, and never needs to be sharpened.
That hat he wears is pretty cool.
He wears a medallion which makes him immune to the One Power, which is the most powerful force in the entire WoT universe.
He survived being cursed by a dagger which slowly was driving him insane and leeching the life from him.
He has luck which can twist games, challenges, and battles to his favour in an instant.
He has a natural sense of when things will go wrong, symbolized by dice bouncing in the back of his head.
He beat two able-bodied men trained in swordsmanship while he as recovering from the dagger sucking his very life away, using only a quarterstaff.
Mat Cauthon, truly the swaggiest general to ever live.

See this man, who’s very appearanceĀ oozes swag? This is Matrim “Mat” Cauthon. Mat’s skills include archery, quarterstaff fighting, battle strategy, and grabbing women’s asses. I know what you’re thinking, what makes him so swaggy?

  • He married the Empress, may she live forever, of the powerful Seanchan Empire, by accident.
  • He rescued Moiraine from the Aelfinn and Eelfinn.
  • His eye was ripped out and he screamed for only one minute before beating some asses.
  • He has the memories of many generals and commanders of old.
  • His spear is a power wrought spear, and never needs to be sharpened.
  • That hat he wears is pretty cool.
  • He wears a medallion which makes him immune to the One Power, which is the most powerful force in the entire WoT universe.
  • He survived being cursed by a dagger which slowly was driving him insane and leeching the life from him.
  • He has luck which can twist games, challenges, and battles to his favour in an instant.
  • He has a natural sense of when things will go wrong, symbolized by dice bouncing in the back of his head.
  • He beat two able-bodied men trained in swordsmanship while he as recovering from the dagger sucking his very life away, using only a quarterstaff.

Mat Cauthon, truly the swaggiest general to ever live.

  1. blackhowlin reblogged this from glaciesmcdick
  2. sylsolidor reblogged this from glaciesmcdick
  3. ollie-wot reblogged this from glaciesmcdick and added:
    if you haven’t realized yet. I love Mat!
  4. anhisabamf reblogged this from glaciesmcdick and added:
    Don’t forget he was a queens’ toy.:P
  5. negativebatman reblogged this from glaciesmcdick
  6. flintslog reblogged this from glaciesmcdick and added:
    Perfectly said
  7. a-couch reblogged this from glaciesmcdick
  8. wolves-rule-the-universe reblogged this from glaciesmcdick and added:
    Lol this is pretty true. And he was a queens fuck buddy. Wheel of time is such a great book series. I wish I could...
  9. vinwitwicky reblogged this from glaciesmcdick
  10. iregretathing reblogged this from fireflyte
  11. fireflyte reblogged this from glaciesmcdick
  12. celtic-ninjas reblogged this from glaciesmcdick
  13. awollucifer reblogged this from glaciesmcdick
  14. secondblue reblogged this from glaciesmcdick and added:
    Swag isn’t even the right word. This man is brilliance, snark, and luck incarnate rolled into one. The only man ever to...
  15. enjinsosei reblogged this from glaciesmcdick and added:
    This man, this man is Matrim Fuckin’ Cauthon. Accept no substitute.
  16. yolo-mcswaggswagg reblogged this from misscrowliarty
  17. ourlovemustbecomestrength reblogged this from blackthirteenaes-sedai